Grief

Today we head home to go to a funeral for a friend that passed away on Friday. It has been an eerie feeling to hear information over the phone of what has taken place and then to try and process it as truth. My mind and heart keep arguing with reality as I rehearse the details in my head with a resounding no, no, No! I keep remembering being in Care Group with him and his wife 7 years ago, how the two of them met and fell in love, how they had an extremely long engagement, their prized red couch, first baby, etc. And now the time has come when theology meets my everyday life, and it is a struggle to converge the two, when all I want to do is undo what has taken place. Grief takes time and maybe when I'm standing there seeing his casket, seeing his family and friends gathered together to remember him as a godly man that loved the Lord, his wife, and children, then maybe I will finally allow reality to sink in, and for there to be some kind of closure for a life cut short in my human understanding.

A friend who is grieving along with me posted this verse on her blog that brought encouragement to me.

"So teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

"Grieving but not without hope." Amen.

Dandelion Honor

 

I am now the proud recipient of 15 dandelions that my sweet sprouts have found for me today. I always know what they are bringing me because they start yelling from the other side of the yard, "Mommy, look what I found for you!" They hand it to me with so much enthusiasm and like it is the most fragile and exquisite flower that they have ever seen. I feel honored as their mommy that instead of keeping them for themselves they always bring them to me, as if I must be the most important person in their little world that would deserve such a precious gift. This is another priceless moment of motherhood for me.

 Interesting Dandelion Facts

 Dandelion is a widely distributed weed of the daisy family, with a rosette of leaves, bright yellow flowers followed by globular heads of seeds with downy tufts, and stems containing a milky latex. • Genus Taraxacum, family Compositae: several species, in particular the common T. officinale, which has edible leaves.

ORIGIN late Middle English : from French dent-de-lion, translation of medieval Latin dens leonis ‘lion's tooth’ (because of the jagged shape of the leaves

Pathology Results

 My new cookbook and new way of life.

The pathology results have come back on my kidney stones. Well, the good news is that my stones can be controlled by my dietary intake. The bad news is no more chocolate or salting my food.

My stones are made up of two parts. The first is a substance called Oxalates (a type of salt) and it is a naturally-occurring substance found in plants, animals, and humans. My body produces too much and does not process it well. So that means I must stop eating the foods that have a high content of it and eat those with a low content in moderation.  And the funny thing is that oxalates are a good thing for most people, just not for me. They are in a variety of healthy foods like whole wheat bread, green leafy vegetables, nuts, berries, etc. Cocoa is on the no list under any circumstances.
Does anyone know of the side affects that will occur from chocolate withdraws? I guess I will know soon enough.

The second substance is called Uric acid and it is a breakdown product of purines that are part of many foods. Not much can be done to limit this, except flushing your system with fluids so that you don't allow it to build up in your kidneys.

Both of these substances stick to each other and that may be the cause of why my stones are so big. I go back in to see my Urologist in 6 weeks to discuss what the plan is to remove the last 10+ mm stone that is left. We would like to get it removed that way we can have a clean slate and just maintain an empty kidney. 

I am grateful for the web as it has provided an ample supply of resources to help me during this dietary change and for those who have gone before me and have tried, tested, and written books to help others who are struggling with kidney stones like me. My hope is through changing my intake of these unknown harmful foods it will help me maintain a stone free life.

Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement over the last few weeks. I am grateful for your support.

You Know When...

You have let your daughters bangs get too long when she says after you cut them,"Mom, I can see you!"

Pain is Inevitable

Hi Everyone,

I know it's been a few weeks since my last post. I have a lot to catch up on and will do so shortly but before I begin to post this past month I wanted to catch everyone up on my 'blog brake' and why it has taken place. I have been struggling with kidney stones for a little over 3 years now but with no major problems. Well, that all changed December 4th. My first hospital stay of the month started in the ER, with a stone that was obstructing my left kidney. A few days later for my 2nd stay in the hospital, I went in for a procedure that was not successful. 2 weeks were needed to heal before they could try the procedure again.  With much prayer from family and friends the 3rd procedure was successful. 3 out of the 4 stones were removed and the fourth should not cause me trouble anytime soon. It has been a painful but thought provoking month, that pain is inevitable in this life. I have been reminded several times this month that my hope should not be that my pain will be removed in a few weeks, but that because of Christ there will come a day when all pain and suffering will cease for those who know Him as their Savior. I am grateful for all of your prayers and will keep everyone updated on the blog over the next few weeks as the test results start coming back. Please, if you have the time, listen to this message by Piper. My big brother sent it to me as an encouragement during this trial.

"You Will Suffer" by John Piper

A Scary Moment Turned Wonderful

Lunch preparations started out like any other day. 4 colorful plates laid out with a somewhat balanced meal. Everything cut into small pieces for little mouths that can be too eager to swallow without chewing properly. Everyone was sitting in place with bibs on to catch any misguided or unwanted food. And then it happened. Sydney took a bite of food and began to cough. And then her cough stopped along with her ability to take in air. Panic gripped me in that moment as I flew across the table and started doing the children's Heimlich maneuver on her. Thrust...What if I'm not doing this right? Thrust...What if I can't dislodge it? Thrust...Do I call 911 or do I keep trying so that no time is lost? Thrust...What if I lose her? Thrust...God help me. Thrust...and then she coughed out the piece of food and began to breathe.

I picked her up and held her in my arms as the tears started to stream down my face. Sydney asked me, "Mommy, why are you crying?" I tried to explain to her how serious it is to choke on food and that I could have lost her. Her response to me was astonishing and was something that I was not prepared to hear. She said, "Mommy, it would be ok if I died because I would be with God in heaven forever." Those words took the air right out of me. If I wasn't humbled by what could have just happened, I was definitely humbled now. She was comprehending all the things that Joshua and I had been teaching her and now she was using it to comfort me. What started out as the most tragic experience I have had with one of my sprouts so far, ended with being amazed at God working in the heart of my child.

It's time...

for a cup of coffee.

I have been resisting the need for a daily cup of coffee for a little over 3 years now. That's how long its been since I have had an uninterrupted night of sleep and that is no joke. So today I caved in and bought a Mr. Coffee 4 cup programmable coffeemaker. After the last 3 days of walking around with my eyes half open I decided that it was time to develop a taste for the legally addictive caffeinated drink of choice. You may be asking why has it taken me so long to do this? Well, because the only way I have liked coffee in the past is if it had sugar, cream, more sugar, milk and a natural sweetener I like to call sugar. You get the point. So, by the time I'm done "fixing" my cup of coffee I might as well be drinking sweetened milk. A very unhealthy high calorie drink that usually makes me sick by the time I'm done with it. But with times of desperation come times of sacrifice, so today I am embarking on the difficult and painful process of retraining my taste buds. One teaspoon of sugar and a splash of skim milk will be the only added ingredient. And then maybe one day I will graduate to drinking it black. Small steps lead to great climbs.

Wish me luck! :)

Tractors & Potties

What does a tractor...

and a potty have in common?

A potty trained Noey boy who got a prize for filling up his potty chart.
Good job little buddy!

Returning From Narnia

A friend's email described our PC experience as that of going to Narnia. She said, "It's as though we had an experience inside the wardrobe, came out and in the real world no time has passed and life was going on as normal but for those coming out of the wardrobe SO MUCH has happened and none of us are the same." How true that is for us that in those 10 months our lives were imprinted by the Ricucci's, the Purswell's and all the SGM staff and Covenant Life Church. And now after a wonderful season of gleaning from all of them we have entered a season of application.

We have been in Seguin for almost 2 weeks now and have settled into a routine in our lovely home. Our Lifegate Church family or "Lifegaters" as I have heard them call themselves have welcomed us into their family. We already are having our hearts knit together with many of the people here and are grateful for their friendships.

Up and Running

Hi Family and Friends,
We have the Internet now so I will be able to start posting again.
Please check out the backdated posts I have published today if your interested.

Mommy at the ER

Hi from the hospital bed! Ok so the story is that 3 days ago I started having swollen tonsils and lymph nodes and that caused my teeth to hurt along with my head. So after 3 days of trying to wait and see if this was going to go away only for it to get worse, much worse, we decided to head to the ER tonight because I could not make it another night.

The nurse had to call my name 3 times because my sweet husband told me that she was calling someone else.=) The nurse finally had to come out and flag me down in order for me to come back to the room. Note to self, if you hear someone call YOUR name then get up and go check no matter what!

The doctor came in and checked my throat and said "I'm glad those aren't my tonsils, their disgusting!" He then proceeded to have show and tell with JJ in which they both agreed that they were swollen, red, and looked disgusting!:o

The doctor prescribed some antibiotics and pain meds. And is giving me a name and number for an ear, nose and throat doctor to go see if anything gets worse in the next 48 hrs.
Gary and Betsy came by to pray for me and to encourage us. They have showed us such kindness and love over this past year. I am grateful for their example of what it means to knit hearts with the people that God has called you to serve for the season.

Remove Promptly

Laundry is on the bottom of my least favorite things to do in this season. With five people to do laundry for and 2 flights of stairs between the hampers and the washer it is a chore indeed. As soon as I get one load done another is created and the cycle never ends. So, because of having 3 little ones under foot during my scheduled time to do laundry I have cut a few corners. Everything is thrown in together. In any given load you might find a towel or two and a few articles of clothing from every member of the family. This would be just fine in a perfect world where there were no labels on the clothes that tell you what specific manner in which they MUST be washed. But because of my inability to carry out the specific instructions given, I put it all in and hope for the best. Yes, we may have whites that are now pink but hey, at least they're clean right? Well, I learned my lesson this week when I washed JJ's new polo shirt with the rest of the load. I washed it, dried it and of course it shrunk. Who knew that the same shirt could go into the laundry fitting JJ and come out fitting Noah! Of course after this catastrophe I read the label and it said, "Remove promptly". There should be a warning label on clothes that say if you have to multitask while washing this shirt then don't buy it.=)